The person who loves you and the person you love, who will you choose?


For the topic of “choose a person who loves you, or a person you love”, it is estimated that it is a commonplace. I’m not a love expert, but people ask me questions about love from time to time, and sometimes I wonder, how can I, who have never been in love since birth, have any qualifications to talk about love and being loved with others What about this problem? My so-called “love experience” comes from observations around me. Although it may not solve the problem, it can at least give the person asking some direction.



Although you appear to be strong on the outside, you are actually very fragile on the inside. You love to be brave, but you are actually afraid that others will look down on you. Your inexplicable loneliness and irresistible fear will never go away! You said that you can actually live a good life alone.


People who choose to love themselves, being loved is a kind of happiness. And the person who chooses his love also has a kind of happiness in his heart. The two kinds of happiness have different meanings. Only two people love each other to achieve satisfaction, right?

It’s a little hard to choose between loving someone else and someone you love, and sometimes it’s hard to find mutual love between the two. This depends on personal fate and chance. Sometimes you meet the person you love, and you put in all your hard work and tears, but if you get it, you are not satisfied. At this time, do you regret loving him/her?

I always think you are lucky when you are loved by others. Why do you say that when someone loves you, he/she will put a hundredfold affection into you, care and accommodate you everywhere, just like a mother loves her child, you can achieve everything you want. At this time you will feel happier, and this is the advantage of being loved.

However, there is a close relationship between love and being loved. Love is the sublimation of love. Only when two people love each other deeply can they be truly happy. When you love others, you take the initiative, but the person you love is passive, and you love the pain.

However, how to choose to love or be loved is a personal opinion, as long as you feel the right way and you feel satisfied and happy. Others do not understand.

In reality, there is such a person, she, he fell in love with the other person is a husband and wife, the person who is loved feels it, usually when there are conflicts and quarrels, they will take the initiative to let the other side retire. At this time, you love this person and you feel that it is worth it.

The choice of true love Most people will choose to be loved by others. Because the other party loves themselves, you will feel a sense of satisfaction and happiness. This is the meaning and reality of being loved by others.

But I still think it’s okay to get along and not have too many quarrels and fights. Thinking too much will become a burden, and the day will be sad if your desires are too high and you are unsatisfactory.

It’s hard for me to say anything more convincingly, but it’s up to you to decide your own affairs. If you choose the right one, your hard work will always bear fruit.

When a person meets Buddha, he asks: a person you love, a person who loves you, which one will you pursue and choose?

The Buddha asked: Is there any difference between them?

The man replied: The person you love doesn’t necessarily love you, and you don’t necessarily have to get him to love him. The process of pursuit is painful, and the result is unknown, while the person who accepts and loves you will be smooth sailing, and it will be easy.

The Buddha asked: Do you have no other ideals and choices besides pursuing them?

The man replied: Yes, I also want to have money, status and power.

The Buddha said: Then go after the person you love! Because you really love him, you will work hard to achieve his expectations, and you will overcome difficulties again and again in the pursuit, so that you not only pursue him, but also live a responsible life. And if you want to live a comfortable life, accept the person who loves you! Because he will tolerate you, but this way you may live a mediocre life.

The man replied: The person who loves me gets me, and he will be happy in his heart; I will be very happy on the surface, because there is a person who loves me so much, but who can know the pain in his heart? So, I want to pursue the one I love. If I work hard and still fail to get his heart, then I will respect his choice, because everyone has the right to choose, and I will let go when the time is right. Even if I don’t get together, I won’t regret it, even if I end up with scars all over! I am still young and can pursue the person I love. Once I like someone, I will not give up easily. If he doesn’t love me, then I will finally accept the person who loves me.

Buddha said: It is not painful to give up a person who loves you very much; it is painful to give up a person you love very much; it is more painful to fall in love with a person who does not love you. If there is fate, time and space are not distances; if there is no fate, even if we meet, it will not last forever. Don’t worry too much about everything, let alone force it, just let everything happen! However, different choices have different lives.

The art of love is to let him know your importance, not that you want nothing but him. There are many good men and women in the world, and there is always the one that suits you best. If you use an advertising slogan, it is: there is no best, only better! What suits you is the best. You don’t have to force it, just let it go. If you agree, you will agree. If you don’t agree, you will be divided. There is no need to hang yourself on a tree! Life is not a one-way line, one road can’t go through, you can turn, maybe happiness is waiting for you at the turn! The object of love was originally a multiple-choice question, at least a two-way multiple-choice question, but many people have made it a simple single-choice question in their wishful thinking. No wonder the result is wrong! It should be broken, but it will be messed up. If you can afford it, you can let it go. Breaking up is not love, those high-sounding reasons are not to make the other party feel better, but to make yourself feel better! If you like to be pampered, listen to lies, and feel that as long as those lies suit your taste, you are willing to listen, then in the end, it’s strange that you won’t be fooled by others.

There are two tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want, and the other is getting what you don’t want. The same is true for love and marriage. The person you love may not necessarily love you; just because you are not the most important person in his mind, nor are he indispensable. You choose ta, but ta will not necessarily choose you, it’s just wishful love, useless! Because twisted melons are not sweet! A shaved head is hot and cannot last for a long time. If he is someone who loves you, even though you don’t like him very much, as long as he likes him six or seven points, that’s enough, you can be together, and your married life will be full and happy, because he will treat you twice as much. it is good.

There is such a fable: The pig said that if I were to live again, I would be a cow. Although the work was a bit tiring, it had a good reputation and made people love it; the cow said that if I were to live again, I would be a pig and eat it. Stop sleeping, stop eating, don’t work hard, don’t sweat, and live like a fairy; the eagle said that if you let me live again, I’ll be a chicken, I’ll have water when I’m thirsty, rice when I’m hungry, a house and a house Protection; the chicken said that if I were to live again, I would be an eagle that could soar in the sky, travel around the world, hunt rabbits and kill chickens at will.

We always involuntarily envy what others have, envy other people’s jobs, envy the new house and new car bought by our friends, etc. We only overlook one point, we ourselves are also the envy of others, because we are not good enough, and we are not good enough. Surplus.

In fact, people are always in such mutual envy. Some people often fantasize that when they wake up one day, they will become the same person. It may be because we are well aware of the shortcomings of our life, so we compare those who we think are more perfect as the coordinates of life. In fact, there are no perfect people in this world. Those we admire are also suffering from their disappointments. It is said that every family has a scripture that is difficult to read. Everything has two sides like a coin. negative. The vain nature of people makes them willing to show their most beautiful side to others, and who can really see the side behind other people’s beauty that is not known to ordinary people? Just as a man who married a beautiful wife said after marriage: “Her beauty belongs to the public, I am just a part of it. What you appreciate is her temporary beauty, and when she is not beautiful, only I’ve seen it.” Come to think of it, this is not unreasonable.

People, especially women, often like to compare themselves with others. The result is that “people are more popular than people”, “people are more damned than people, and they should be thrown away”. In fact, you might as well compare yourself to see if you are getting better and better. Well, are you getting closer and closer to your desired goal? Encourage yourself every now and then and you’ll get better and better. Maybe when you are envious of others, others are also envious of you!

Of course, some people are indeed worthy of our envy, not entirely because they get more, but because they are good at managing life.

We envy others because we expect perfection and expect to live better. But we have overlooked the point that everyone’s situation and social background are different, and others can never imitate it. However, we can correct our shortcomings by observing the strengths of others. Instead of looking up to the happiness of others, it is better to pay attention to the way others manage their happiness.

Don’t envy what other people are like, thank God for the grace you have, you will find that what you have is definitely much more than what you don’t have, and your life will be much happier and more open-minded.

So, there is really no need to envy others. Hold on to what we have and think clearly about what we really want, and we will feel truly happy!



See you, there are more and more people living apart in marriage. After two people have been married for a period of time, although they eat together, they no longer chat together and sleep in the same bed; you have your study, I have my boudoir; you watch your TV, and I go to my Internet; I can do whatever I want; I give you enough freedom, and you can’t compress my space and not interfere with each other’s freedom. Separation in marriage is more like two people living together, they don’t talk much, like two people who have nothing to do with each other. If there is a physiological need, after the cloud and rain, one party will obediently go back to his bedroom without issuing an eviction order, and everything seems to be a matter of course. Husbands and wives do not communicate with each other and do not want to share the same bed. Is this still a husband and wife? If there is no communication between husband and wife, if there is no common interest and hobbies, the pace will not be consistent. How distressing it must be for such two people to be husband and wife.

Above is a portrait of his life after he chose the woman he loves after getting married.

Although you appear to be strong on the outside, you are actually very fragile on the inside. You love to be brave, but you are actually afraid that others will look down on you. Your inexplicable loneliness and irresistible fear will never go away! You said that you can actually live a good life alone. But you are not good, you are having a bad time. You will be disgusted by eating alone, and when you see others in pairs, you can only envy and smile bitterly. The men you see are nice, but not yours. Although I am ordinary, I am a man with a strong sense of family responsibility. Even if you are a strong woman in front of people, when the night is shrouded, you are still afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid of no one to accompany you; you will be afraid of the thunder and lightning in the rainy day, and scream because of the sudden power failure . . . . . . With a man by your side, you won’t be so embarrassed and embarrassed. You are still young, and you still have capital pride. Maybe there is still room for choice in marriage reorganization, but will those excellent men want you? Even if you consider yourself a good woman. Although I’m not excellent, I can let you live a life without food and clothing. Now that our fate has dissipated, I will not keep you! Because you want to climb high branches. . . . . . It’s too tiring to love someone, maybe only being loved is happiness?

The above sentence is a few intimate words spoken by a man who fell in love with a woman and was abandoned by the woman after a few years of marriage. It is very touching.

Here is a portrait of her life after she chose the man she loves to marry:

Before he got married, although he couldn’t talk about being obedient to her, he still complied with her requests, and his face was decent; but after getting married, he began to be picky, and he didn’t like her no matter how he looked at her, and he took care of himself again and again. Find a reason. When he succeeded in his career and his wife became old, in the end, he used “you’re fine, I’m not worthy” as a rhetoric to divorce the woman. . . . . . Afterwards, he said to others: Love is not a charity, you can’t give alms casually, no matter how cheap my love is, it’s not my turn to give her a discount!

As a normal man and woman, it is inevitable that they will eventually get married; as a normal marriage, they all hope to grow old together. That is to say, people will spend decades in marriage from the moment of marriage until the end of their lives, so when choosing a partner, you must choose the one that suits you. Your partner is not the one who swore that you would not marry or that you would not marry when you got married, but the one who still chooses you after discovering that you have many shortcomings; your partner is not the one who loves cucumbers and cucumbers in your life, It’s the one who eats egg whites and egg yolks; your partner is not the one who walks into the restaurant with you arm in arm when it’s dark, but the one who waits at the door waiting for you to come back for dinner; your partner is not the one who is older than you. When it comes to love, the person who talks about “I love you” is the person who nags you about firewood, rice, oil, salt, pots and pans. In a happy marriage, your partner is no longer a specific person, but something you and ta have accumulated over the decades: a tacit understanding, a warmth, a dullness, an understanding, a tolerance, A love. To love him is to make him happy. This is a partner. What to watch before marriage? The first is “the new match”. It does not refer to family, money, but cultural level, including similar family cultural background and considerable education level, which is the basis of post-marital communication. Second, the identification of values. Colleagues can disagree on values, but husbands and wives must agree. Third, the identification of the concept of the role of husband and wife. As long as both parties agree to such a role assignment, the marital happiness index will be high. Finally, there is complementarity of character. “Open your eyes wide” after seeing this clearly, you should also see clearly the family behind her, especially her parents. After marriage, you must understand that wearing a wedding ring is to put an end to the mate selection of “unstoppable exploration”, and you can’t have the idea of ​​”meeting later” after “meeting late”.

The person who loves you and the person you love, how will you choose? Psychologists believe that the following 10 factors should be considered when judging whether men and women are suitable for “holding hands”.

First, each other is each other’s good friends, without any conditions, like to be with each other.

Second, it is easy to communicate with each other, open up to each other, and communicate anything frankly without worrying about being suspected or despised by the other party.

Third, the two have common ideas and values ​​in the mind, and have a clear understanding and pursuit of these ideas.

Fourth, both parties believe that marriage is a life-long affair, and both parties are firmly willing to commit themselves to this long-term marriage relationship.

Fifth, when conflicts or disputes arise, they can be resolved together instead of waiting for them to break out later.

Sixth, feel pleasing, like-minded, humorous and interesting when getting along with each other.

Seventh, know each other very well, and accept each other. After knowing that the other party understands his own strengths and weaknesses, he is still convinced that he is accepted by him.

Eighth, get support and affirmation from the person who knows you best and trusts you the most.

Ninth, sometimes there are romantic feelings, but most of the time, your relationship is very content and free.

Tenth, there is a very rational and mature relationship, and both parties can feel that you are a good match on many different levels. Only people who admire each other and admire each other’s strengths will collide with the most beautiful sparks and bear the sweetest fruit of love.

The most common form of love is the capture and chase between the sexes. The goodwill between people can convey a powerful force to each other, so that it can make up for the lack of objective conditions. It is similarity, not complementarity, that brings people together. Similarity mainly includes the matching degree of three aspects: values ​​and personality, interests and experience, interpersonal style. Among them, interpersonal style is the most important relationship predictor. Dealing with people whose interpersonal communication styles differ from yours can be frustrating and less likely to develop further.

Does love catch up? no. True love doesn’t need to be pursued at all. The tacit understanding of the two people is slowly shortening the distance between the two hearts and gradually approaching each other unconsciously. From a good friend to a lover, the real relationship does not take long. From the moment you like him, maybe he also likes you at that moment. Love with the same rhythm can often play the most harmonious and beautiful movement. What does true love need? Feeling that two people are relaxed and happy together, there is no pressure.

Does loving someone mean giving without reservation? no. Everyone is an independent person. We belong to ourselves first. We have ideas and personalities, instead of giving all of us to each other. We can have reservations, such as privacy that you don’t want to say, and sometimes it’s better not to say it.

Which is more important, appearance or personality? Men tend to like beautiful women when they are young. After the age of 25, they will choose women who are suitable for their personality and who can live with them. It’s not good to like someone too eagerly. One is that the more you want, the less you can’t get it; the other is that it is hard to cherish what you get, and the quicker it comes, the quicker it goes. When the water flows, love will last longer.

Falling in love is easy to get along with. The most important thing in getting along is tolerance and compromise, based on trust and understanding. No two people can get along without tolerance and compromise. Pure love may only be once, but true love may not be only once. It is possible to fall in love with several people because you like a certain type of person. Those who came first met with you, so they came together happily; for those who came later, I can only apologize, and at the same time, I wish them to find their own happiness as soon as possible. There is no one that we must have in our life. Loving someone is actually accustomed to this person in many cases.

Which is more important, reality or romance? Reality. Romance is a castle in the air without reality. College campus love often ends with graduation, mostly because it is unrealistic. This is a realistic society, feelings cannot be eaten as food, and poor couples mourn. Don’t believe those fairy tales in movies, only irrational and unrealistic people do.

Can we still be friends after a breakup? better not. Cut constantly, the rationale is still chaotic. We don’t live in the past, we live in the present. Love doesn’t equal life, it’s just a part of life. Don’t give up the plan to pursue because your appearance is not as good as the other party. Your appearance is only a temporary impression. The real decision whether to combine or not depends mainly on the personalities of both parties. There are a lot of handsome guys with ugly girls and beautiful girls with ugly guys.

Love can last as long as possible. This has at least two advantages: one, fully and as long as possible to enjoy the pleasure of love, and two, the longer the two spend time together, the more they can test whether they are sincere with each other, and the more they can see whether their personalities are compatible.

If you want to know whether a person loves you or not, it depends on whether he is alive with you, whether he is happy or not, if he has, he is in love, if he does not, he does not love. In the future, when you meet the one he loves, he will leave you as well. Some people are prone to emotional ups and downs, and it is difficult for such people to maintain a long-term marriage.

What is romance? Is it sending flowers? walking in the rain? If two people fall in love with each other and do nothing, it will feel romantic to be quiet relative to each other. Otherwise, even if the two sit on the moon and date, they will not feel romantic. There is no common interest, no common language, and even when we are together, we still feel lonely. Lasting love comes from true love from the heart of each other and is based on equality. Anyone who only cares about a mad lover and not whether he is loved or not, or who only cares about enjoying being loved and not knowing who he truly loves, will not have a good ending.

Love is a venture capital investment, it is inevitable to be unsatisfactory, and falling out of love is a normal thing. Love is enough. Since we can’t be together, there’s always a reason we can’t be together. You can’t play games, take revenge or fall irresponsibly just because others have let you down. The drama you play will always end on your own. Besides, if he doesn’t love you, he won’t care what you do.

if you love someone, do not give up the chance. Recklessness may make you regret for a while; cowardice may make you regret for a lifetime. A life that has not experienced love is incomplete, and love that has not experienced pain is not profound. Love enriches life, and setbacks sublime love.

You may be accustomed to the current lover, and obviously don’t like it very much, but after being together for a long time, the habit makes people less willing to make new choices. Life is full of choices. When you are given the opportunity to choose, you must be cautious; once you make a choice, you will never regret it; if you can afford it, if you can let it go, break it, forget it, forget it; cherish it, Just cherish it.

Some people always think that they will find someone they love very much. But later, when we look back suddenly, we realize how naive we used to be. If you never started, how do you know if you will love that person very much? In fact, the feeling of love is discovered after experiencing many things together. Maybe everyone hopes to find a 100% partner in their hearts, but have you ever thought about whether someone has been silently paying for you for a long time by your side, but you just didn’t realize it? Maybe you have been waiting for a long time.

Remember, drink no more than six points drunk, eat no more than seven points full, and love someone no more than eight points. When you love someone, love to seven or eight points is just right, and the remaining two or three points are used to love yourself. If you continue to love more, it is likely to put a lot of pressure on each other, make each other breathless, and completely lose the joy of love.


Read also | How to make love last forever?


If you are also lost in love, perhaps the following passage can give you some inspiration: To love someone, you must understand and understand; you must apologize and thank you; you must admit mistakes and correct them; you must be considerate and considerate; you must accept Rather than endure; tolerate rather than condone; support rather than dominate; comfort rather than question; talk rather than accuse; remember rather than forget; communicate rather than explain everything; The other party has many demands. It can be romantic, but don’t waste it, don’t hold hands casually, and don’t let go casually.

Romantic people describe the encounter with their lover in this way: Among millions of people, in the boundless wilderness of time, there is no one step earlier, no one step later, just happened to catch up. When the two of you are together, you might as well think like that, right? If it’s not good, you need to understand whether you are with someone or not is just a matter of probability. Among thousands of people who pass by, whoever you give the chance will have a fate with you, even if there is no A, there will be B. Don’t be foolish to wait for that kind of imaginary fate like an alliance between wood and stone. How can there be so many legends in life. Stop waking up and dreaming, have you forgotten that although art comes from life, it is higher than life?

To be honest, people who are in love are always lunatics. They ignore the suggestions of many people. As long as they like it and the other party is willing to spend a lifetime with you, they will not care about other people’s opinions and opinions. But yes, as long as you feel good about yourself, that’s fine.


I recently read a very touching quote: When you are holding an umbrella for someone else, please look behind you, there is a fool in the rain. Choose someone you love, sometimes it’s better to choose someone who loves you.

There is a picture in this passage, it is a girl holding an umbrella for a boy, but the boy did not look back at her. But there was another boy behind the girl, and he only had the girl in his eyes, even if the girl only saw the boy in front of him. This may be “because of love”, but each has his own concerns and sorrows…

I often hear friends around me ask: Will you choose a person who loves you, or a person who loves you? When I was young, I must have chosen the person I love without hesitation, because I felt it would be self-torture to have me with someone I didn’t like.



In fact, we are hurt in love because we are not mature enough to know how to choose. So, now let me answer the question, I will definitely choose someone who loves me.

Dear friends, if you want to choose love, I will support you. But if the person you choose doesn’t love you, I think you’ll be miserable. Because the person you love will only make you worry about whether he is good or not, and will never ask how you are doing? You always have to worry about him, but you have never stayed in his heart… If he ignores you a little, you are anxious, but you ignore him or love him, and he treats him as if nothing happened.


Read also | Good flirting skills


Loving someone who doesn’t love yourself will be very tiring, he won’t understand your mood, or he won’t care about your life or death at all. You may feel that you work harder and hope is bigger, but the reality is cruel. The harder you work, the more painful you will eventually fall.


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